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Written by Mike
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Sunday, 01 March 2009 |
Here in the land down under, there is a pejorative term known as the Tall Poppy Syndrome. It refers to the behaviour of the group when a person of genuine merit is criticized or resented because their achievements elevate them above their peers. While the notion can be dated to Aristotle, it was King Tarquin II of Rome who used a stick to smash down the tallest poppies, telling his son to put to death the most eminent people and giving the expression its meaning.
Resentment is such an ugly emotion. It is a state of mind that destroys love and creates suffering. It is not caused by what happened, it is caused by how you relate to what happened. That is an important distinction because it puts one back in control. Since a person can create resentment, they have the power to release it.
First, one must recognize they are the only person suffering as a result of this emotion. That provides the impetus for change. The resentment causes a person to feel bitter and less able to express their love. Once walls of protection go up, a person loses their spark and joy. It isn't worth it! Life is glorious and is far too short to waste feeling nasty.
When you resent someone, you believe they are the problem - it is all their fault. You blame them so you don't have to look too closely at yourself. You may have to face some hurtful feelings if you admit your part in the problem. Most people will stop right there. It is easy to go back to blaming someone else. Those who push on and accept their feelings may face fear of not being good enough or not being worth loving. These feelings are painful and more people will just want to stop at this stage. For those brave enough and strong enough to face their own fear, there is a great reward. In Iron John, his now-classic book on male initiation rights, Robert Bly describes this as the "descent into the ashes". It is a necessary part of healing and can not be avoided.
Forgiveness is a choice. Most people think forgiveness is for the other person; those who have truly forgiven understand it is for themselves.
You alone have the power to let go of your resentment and improve your life. |
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Written by Mike
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Monday, 01 December 2008 |
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The Rant Room forum ticked over yet another amazing milestone - more than half a million page views during the month of November! An all time, record smashing month of 507,406 pages read by our members and the many lurkers on the site confirm we are by far and away Bermuda's #1 Forum. Other notable stats for the site include ticking past 6 million total page views since the forum launched in September 2005, and notching more than 74,000 posts in 4,000 topics. Awesome! Thanks to all those who have made this the online place where the big conversation happens every day. Wether you are an Expat or Bermudian, local or 'forner', black, white or green, you are welcome here. If you've been a long-time reader, why not join today and share your story, or just add your two cents worth? |
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Written by Mike
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Saturday, 25 October 2008 |
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After many requests, we've implemented the "Ignore User" feature on the forum. If there are members you just can't stand to listen to, you can now prevent their posts from displaying! Once you login, click on the PROFILE menu item, and look for the Ignore user options under the Modify Profile section on the menu on the left side of the screen. Just enter the user name of the member you wish to ignore, click the Change Profile button and viola... the posts show only the member name, but no content. We have also updated the Newsreader to correctly show the feeds for the Royal Gazette (after yet another change on their site), and added the Bermuda Network News feed for all the propaganda you could want. New blogs have been added to the menu on he Blog feed reader, so check out what others are saying around the Rock. Any other bloggers who would like to be added to the feed should send a link to
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
and we'll get you on there too. As always, comments, criticism and feedback are welcome. Join Bermuda's number 1 forum today and jump in - your anonymity is assured here.  |
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Member's Lounge : From brendalana's Archives... by brendalana - Today at 07:21:46 PM