I was speaking about the general reaction she received.  Certainly that included you.

Thank you for adding that last paragraph.  I was about to dump you and your post in the Shark Tank, then felt much better about making a sensible reply to you.  Please, let me try to give you my take on this.

There are a lot of assumptions being made.  You assume you know which employer she is talking about - based on a man being fat and bald and a woman being curly haired?  You also assume you know which employee she is - have you not already mistakenly identified her as a Canadian?  She gave no time frame for the events; they could have happened many years ago.  Or, the whole thing could be nothing more than a story, like this one.

The fact is, there are a lot of "ifs".

The problem I have is that this website is one of the few expat friendly places where we can speak our mind and not get threats of deportation or legal action.  To have a litany of thin-skinned Onions attacking a newbie for a post that is very much in the Bermuda Sucks style of sardonic humour makes me angry.

I'm happy to have so many Bermudians here to offer their input, but this is not your Island.  Bermudians do not have the privilege of bullying, shouting down or evicting expats here.

There have been a lot of criticisms about a perceived unfair application of the 'personal attacks rule'.   Let me try to clarify.  First, to be a personal attack it has to be directed at a person, usually a member here.  Second, it is when it is about things other than the topic - not being able to get laid, for example.  Third, its basing an attack on an assumption when one can not possibly be sure of the details; calling a member a "liar" in this case.  When I say that I'm exempt from this rule, I mean that I understand that Bermudians want to attack me for using the domain name BermudaSucks.com!  I don't share the wonderful eloquence my lovely wife has for being able to tell someone off and make them feel like they are being complimented at the same time, so my replies are often more harsh than I'd prefer after I've had time to contemplate them.  That is the nature of the beast, and the forum freezes them in time for us all to consider.

We try to err on the side of letting members get away with a lot - but at some point the Moderators and I have to make a judgement call.  It is never going to be perfect, but it is what it is.

For the sake of clarity, let me explain something about the Internet:  Everything is a fabrication until proven true.  That is why Reality and I have allowed ourselves to become known here.  It is by the weight of some 6,000 collective posts over more than two years, dozens of articles, and a ton of PMs that we have built our reputation on and given credibility to our story.  We don't need the "weight" from a newbie for that.

We're going to be here for a long time to come; I hope to get to know you better and see more of that empathetic side.   

Any system has to have political influence, once there are more than two people involved.

As a mechanism to maintain balance, the 'report to moderator' link on each thread should be used to complain about serious forum infractions, like outings, trolling, or personal attacks.

The karma system is there for the first level of response.  You should use the applaud and smite buttons to let the individual know why you approve or disapprove of their comments.  Now that you can leave feedback, it should help influence behaviour more directly.

We shouldn't be all defensive about getting a smite or two - if we're pushing the limits of behaviour acceptable to the group, it should be regarded as constructive criticism.

Let me clarify... I've been head deep in the website all weekend, so forgive me for not saying the forum is not your Island.

Or, as one of my favourite quotes goes:

"It's easy to conceal your identity on the net. It's much more difficult to conceal your true character."
   -- Diane Richardson

Noel