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Serious about Racist Remarks

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SmokingGun

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Re: Serious about Racist Remarks

« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2007, 11:21:03 AM »

As a young man I learned how to box. After 4 years I learned the fact that I knew how to not only defend myself but that I could actually beat the living daylights out of my opponent. The most important lesson my teacher emphasised to me though was that with that knowledge I always had a back up plan if I couldn't talk my way out of a fight. I've never had to use my fists out-side of the ring. I've come close a couple of times but I've still got all my teeth. Grin


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Canuck In Bermuda

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Re: Serious about Racist Remarks

« Reply #16 on: April 25, 2007, 07:22:29 PM »

Quote from: Casual Observer on April 25, 2007, 11:08:46 AM

MM -

I tend to disagree as well. I think the true test of the bigger person is in being able to walk away from confrontation - anyone can 'buss some ass'. Walking away takes a much bigger person. Personally, I think that physical confrontation is a last resort and should be used only somebody else has instigated. With that said though, it's pretty easy to just lose your cool and all ideas of civility go right out the window. As a parent I would NEVER encourage my child to fight, however there is no harm in defending yourself if you are in danger. Sometimes I guess it might take opening up a can of whoop azz on a bully.

My father taught me to fight when I was a kid. After he was satisfied that I could reasonably defend myself if need be the last thing he ever had to say on the subject was something to the effect of "If I ever hear about you starting a fight or getting into one when you could have avoided it, you're not going to like what happens. If I ever hear that you ended up in a fight and you didn't finish it, you're not going to like what happens." I never did find out what it was that I wasn't going to like.


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Mysty

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Re: Serious about Racist Remarks

« Reply #17 on: April 25, 2007, 08:38:04 PM »

Hey! I'm all for turning the other cheek in most situations... and you all know that I "stir the pot" sometimes... but when my son got an expensive gold chain snatched from around his neck and thrown into the bushes (never to be found) he had had enough! He was about 15. I always told him that if he ever got into a fight he would get hurt himself, but to hurt the other guy a little more. My son is quite short and was bullied until he fought back physically one day and hurt the other guy enough to stop him from ever bullying him again. He had earned his "respect." Of course fighting must be a last resort.... but I have seen it too often in Bda where racist taunts often lead to some sort of violence. With the gang problem here it is even more dangerous, and you must "choose your enemies carefully" or you may get seriously injured when the gang retaliates. It's a jungle out there folks... and in my opinion idealism and niceness won't cut it! Not today. Cool


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AAW

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Re: Serious about Racist Remarks

« Reply #18 on: April 25, 2007, 08:59:18 PM »

I have encouraged my sons to walk away when someone is agitating them. I haven't been called yet to the school regarding any fights from my boys so they are doing what is right. If something comes up then we will deal with it together and I will involve the other set of parents.

He hasn't complained yet regarding any more comments but I will keep you posted if interested.


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We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull,? some have weird? names, and all are? different colours....but they? all exist? very nicely in the same box.

Reality

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Re: Serious about Racist Remarks

« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2007, 01:20:04 AM »

Definitely interested, AAW... although I hope that you won't have too much to report!


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Mike

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Re: Serious about Racist Remarks

« Reply #20 on: April 26, 2007, 02:58:10 AM »

Quote from: mysticman on April 25, 2007, 08:38:04 PM

... Of course fighting must be a last resort.... but I have seen it too often in Bda where racist taunts often lead to some sort of violence. With the gang problem here it is even more dangerous, and you must "choose your enemies carefully" or you may get seriously injured when the gang retaliates. It's a jungle out there folks...

Today's headlines frightfully illustrate your point.

Halifax West student stabbed
17-Year-Old Found Guilty Of Second-Degree Murder

Not in Bermuda? Not yet.

Do you still want to encourage your son to fight? Undecided

Please don't think I'm being flippant. I'm passionate about this subject and I am keen to explore how you feel about it as a parent.


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Fast Eddie

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Re: Serious about Racist Remarks

« Reply #21 on: April 26, 2007, 03:45:28 AM »

Someone once said, that we do not need so much to be informed, as reminded.

I agree with the premise that humans are born with empathy. Circumstance often dictates whether they can retain it.

Perhaps all the schools should have Diversity Skills Training to facilitate the appreciation of difference and commonality. Cummings Zuill might be a good person to approach about this. A good listener.

And by the by, this subject can be a lot of fun, depending on the facilitator. Surprise.

True to my Sucks Joker of the Year Award, preen, I generally did my facilitation pieces as standup when I did the work with children. One warning is that if there are teachers in the room or other observing adults, they can't keep their little paws out of it. They actually raise their hands to answer stuff. Oh. Oh. I Know. I know the answer.


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Mysty

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Re: Serious about Racist Remarks

« Reply #22 on: April 26, 2007, 06:32:58 AM »

I like two other headlines from the Florida tv station's web page:

Teacher Allegedly Caught Having Sex With Teen In Van
Captain America Arrested With Burrito In Pants

What is the world coming to...?? Cool

P.S. My youngest son is now over 30... so I am finished with "parenting" Mike.


« Last Edit: April 26, 2007, 06:35:24 AM by mysticman »	Logged

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Reality

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Re: Serious about Racist Remarks

« Reply #23 on: April 26, 2007, 07:05:58 AM »

I'm concerned about Captain America... fortunately we have Captain Canuck to depend on when CA is too busy playing with his burritos...


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BlueEyedDevil

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Re: Serious about Racist Remarks

« Reply #24 on: April 26, 2007, 01:21:19 PM »

With regards to skin color, I grew up in a community where (among whites) having fair skin was considered really disgusting. I had a complex about this for a long time but I finally came to accept the fact that I don't tan, can't tan, never will tan and due to the risk of skin cancer shouldn't try to tan. I wear a max SPF sunscreen when I go out in the sun. I use an SPF 15 lotion every day.

With regards to fighting, there are certain people who just can't give it a rest, they are not going to listen to any kind of reason or politeness and until you lay hands on them they are just not going to behave themselves. I will agree discretion is often the better part of valor. As a kid I got a lot of grief. Kids my size I would fight, and that was the end of it. There were couple of kids who were quite a bit bigger than me, and quite strong. It used to bother me I didn't fight them but thinking about it later I would have gotten my ass kicked and insulted, instead of just getting insulted. There was one kid I did regret fighting, because he wasn't that much bigger than me and he was grossly insulting. My parents were pacificists though and the message you can and should avoid fighting is bad for kids.

AAW, tell your son skin color is a matter of genetics and he will have to live with it. Other children who concern themselves with this obviously have problems. He might ask them why they care about another boy's looks and what that says about them. I imagine that will shut them up. (Being told you are ugly by a girl is another matter, that really hurts.) I hope you will encourage him to use good judgement in fighting- don't initiate anything, verbal or physical, but don't back down and don't accept abuse of any kind.