I think a lot of people are missing the point about why there is such a sudden and desperate push for Bermudian independence. Apparently the real cause is over who Bermuda's next Governor is going to be.

His name is Lord Blunt. He is an black Englishman from Brixton whose parents emigrated from Jamaica in the early 1950s. His partner Larry, is a white?accountant from Dublin. They met in Guilford and have been together for thirty happy years. They have two beautiful daughters, conceived with the aid of a lovely lesbian couple from Sydney, Australia. The children have taken Larry's surname, Other.

Unfortunately, Larry suffers from multiple sclerosis. He smokes ten half gram joints a day to get some relief. On hearing this the local government immediately informed Lord Blunt that this would create a problem. Due to the exorbitant cost of marijuana in Bermuda, supplying Larry with his "medicine" would bankrupt the government within two years. Fortunately, Lord Blunt came up with a solution. The government has reluctantly agreed to build a hydroponic grow room in the basement of Government House. It along with the new bath house, will be powered by a wind farm located on the grounds.

Unlike Larry, Lord Blunt only smokes marijuana occasionally. However, his negative attitude towards alcohol and cigarettes has worried Bermuda's traditional establishment. Lord Blunt's parents were killed in a drinking accident. His father drunk on I Am the Walrus rum, tried to light a Pitcairn cigarette, but instead smashed his car, himself and his wife into a beautiful stone wall.

Lord Blunt's views on private clubs have also incensed Bermuda's elite. At a press conference four months ago, he stated that his family had always married people outside it's immediate social group. To prove his point he took of his shoe, showing that there were no webs growing between his toes. This lack of respect for inbreeding and his known hostility to tennis and golf have made many enemies at Bermuda's exclusive clubs. He was overheard saying that golf was for unimaginative social climbers and dimwitted snobs. Further adding that although he was a homosexual, he would never chase a ball around for two let alone four hours.

Proud that he can only trace his family back four generations, Lord Blunt caused further distress by stating that fishing and sailing were merely excuses for a drinking problem. Realizing his mistake, he quickly backtracked. He went on to mention that although his partner Larry, wasn't particularly interested in fishing or yachting, he would have no problems helping to rescue any mysterious packages floating out at sea.

But the straw that broke the camel's back arouse when it was learned that Lord Blunt had actually read the Bible twice. Although four other Christians have already done this, Lord Blunt is the first to realize that the "Book" is a source of love, not bigotry.

This is an experiment in satire. It is completely untrue.

Thanks Emily, for making me smile today (although, of course, it was fortunate you remembered to mention that it is satire, in case it winds up the premier). Much karma to you.

If it were real, I'd be first to buy Lord Blunt a dark & stormy, sounds like he'd be a great addition to the Friday night crew.

Dear Mike,

I stand guilty as accused. I was trying to stir you up. But the thing is, you passed the test. You were in a position of power and you didn't abuse it. You could have told me to leave if I didn't like it here, started a vicious whispering campaign or put a hit out on my cat. Instead, you allowed something that you disagreed with to remain on your site. That takes integrity. Thank you for supporting free speech.

The above paragraph is not an experiment in satire. It is completely true.

Well geez Mike all ya had to do was ask...LOL...although i must admit, i was getting the karma fast and furious before and now i've been a bit neglected myself.

CC

I would have to say that would cause a melt down in Bermuda and the press would be catching their tails trying all the different angles for stories. The church would be a leader in the fight .
If it were true i would probably giggle with the press write ups = in reality we all should be allowed to live the way we are as long as we do not hurt anyone we come in contact with.