1.   Why did you choose to work in Bermuda?
I was a an advertising art director just trying to get more experience and build up my portfolio in order to climb the greasy pole. I was attracted because the company offered ‘international’ big client experience in a beautiful setting, tax free earnings and I thought it would be a big boost. The idea was to go back with a bigger better portfolio, experience  and a wad of cash! Was I stupid?

2. Was advice given about Bermuda by your recruiter/employer accurate?
Pure fantasy! I prepared interview questions and tried to do some home work on them.  My questions were well thought and typical of my industry. I asked what the hours were and how much overtime there was and got the answer 9-5 but, if I do my work I can have flexitime. For example work extra hours and have Friday afternoons off. If I get my work done quickly I can leave quickly, “here it is not about hours”. In fact she wanted me to work late almost every day and at often at the weekends. The boss treated me like a serf.  When I told her I had a date she screamed at me that I was there for one purpose only and that was to work! I was told the standard of living was much higher than Toronto with better fashions, wine bars and everyone especially the locals were friendly, laid back and it was a fun place. I was also told that I could easily get a beach house for the same price as my Toronto apartment. All they had to do was introduce me to people and it would happen, “it’s all by who you know”.  They said they were very well connected. Such a lucky girl huh? My apartment was horrid compared to my beautiful Toronto flat and twice the price. Their client list included everyone they pitched to but didn’t get as well as work they did for other companies before they started their own. Dishonesty from the start. Nice.

3. Was Bermuda your first overseas job?
Yes but since then I have worked all over Europe, Caymans, Dubai and Japan.

4. Did the experience live up to your expectations?
I consider myself imaginative but this no way could I have dreamt something so worse!! The big clients were nonexistent. They kept saying we are meeting x today to discuss TV and then a week goes by and it’s “yes just waiting to hear now”. After a year still nothing. My contract was supposed to be two years. I left after a year. A job a kinkos would have been much better.

5. Did you live in a pink house?
Yes a pink one and an orange one.

6. How long did your work permit take to be processed & how would you rate the overall service of the immigration department?
Too long – about 4 months!! They were also supposed to find accommodation for me for about $600 per month– 1 bedroom apartment and I could stay there until I adjusted and got to know the place and then move to my ‘beach house’. I had a small damp bedroom in a family home. As a 35 year old adult who has lived on my own since the age of 16 I was mortified!! I lived there for 4 months until I succumbed to a crappy 1 bed apartment with a nice view at £1800 per month.

7. What is your primary reason for leaving?
I was so miserable I feared for my future and was worried I would be stuck there and was starting to wonder if I was better off dead.  My co-worker from hell was bullying me as well as the boss and I felt like a slave. I had nowhere near the standard of living I had before I went there.  Saving money was impossible. I was worried this would wreck my career for good. Suddenly I felt as though I had no future and nothing to live for. I realised that I had to get out right away before the damage became permanent. 

8. What would you change about your job?
Everything. They were delusional. This was supposed to be an international advertising agency with huge clients. They were designing cheap brochures and business cards. The biggest stuff they did was design the annual reports for a couple of insurance companies and do some newspaper ads. The boss’ partner is a talentless yobbo drunk who insisted on grabbing the best work for himself and getting me to assist him and do the crap. He ripped off the work in magazines and sold as his own. Nothing he did was original. The places I worked before would not have let him in the front door and here he is in charge! I also caught him masturbating himself in the office. He used to come on to me constantly. He was bald, old fat and vile. The female curly haired mop boss acted as the account director which basically allowed to spend all her time in bars, the golf course, restaurants and anywhere but the office. She would swan in having made a crappy cheap sale dump the work on us, scream and run out. My pay was always late. A few days later when I’d have to remind them they would insult me as though I am bad with my finances to have to rely on that to pay my exorbitant rent! I used to sail a lot and owned a beautiful sail boat with an old boyfriend when I mentioned this to her because I knew she had a boat she sneered at me. She said that she only invited clients and friends on the boat it was her way of saying I wasn’t good enough. One day I booked an appointment with a hair salon supposed to be the best on the island. A week later it was cancelled. The reason is that she goes there and told them not to do her staff’s hair if they wanted her business. She wanted exclusivity. She got angry when she spotted me on a date in an expensive St. George’s restaurant and yelled at me the next dare as to how dare I be out that late on a work night. Yeah right – I was home by 10:30!

9. Do you feel any guilt at having caused high rents, traffic problems, teen pregnancies, expensive drinks and the downfall of Bermudian civilization?
I used public transit and taxis only. I certainly didn’t impregnate anyone and couldn’t anyway being female. Now was I bad role model. Yes I drank like a fish as does everyone else there but I held my liquor pretty good. The volume I drank probably decreased the price by allowing bulk buying! The parasites who rented me a room for the first 3 months until I finally found a decent place hideously overcharged me and probably allowed them to buy hundreds of acres in another country.  My second landlady also doubled as an African warlord.

10. Did your job duties turn out to be as you expected?
If you call designing crappy business cards and leaflets for local business the same as doing major ad campaigns/TV commercials for cars, beers, airlines and huge companies on multimillion dollar budgets. I also handled lots of personal calls for her highness. The receptionist also did personal shopping and errands. I had no idea I would be a lady in waiting to the Queen of Bermuda.

11. Did you receive enough training to do your job effectively?
I was shown the cutter, my crappy desk with no window and told exactly what to do so that I never had to think or come up with ideas by myself.

12. Speaking of bathrooms, did they have doors or were you expected to answer the call of nature while various tradespeople walked by and waved?

They had bathrooms and I wondered why it was always running out of toilet paper and then I noticed the boss was taking the rolls home. So it would come out of company expense – they were both doing it. I loved the notice not to use more than 2 sheets per time!

13. Did you receive adequate support and equipment to do your job?
I received a beautiful antique computer and some 1st generation beta software.  In fact I could download as much software as I wanted as long as it was free at a download rate of 1k per hour.

14. Were you satisfied with this company's merit review process?
Of course I was good enough to keep as an employee but not as good as the talentless toad in charge or to get a raise. The feedback was designed to keep me down and erode my self-confidence. I wanted to leave before a year but my contract was pretty nasty stuff. I was made aware of every error as though they were serious offences and or major character flaws. I arrived in the office one morning in gale force winds and horizontal rain to be told that I should never enter the office with my hair a mess in case there was a client there. I was told at a party at her house to sit on the floor because the seats were for guests who would be arriving in a few minutes.

15. Do you still have road rash scars?
No – never got road rash. I heard the horror stories including one death within first days of arrival and was saved from that peril.

16. Did this company help you to fulfil your career goals? If yes, were your career goals to be treated as an unwelcome intrusion and expected to make good the incompetence of lazy co-workers?
The two Bermudian co-workers I had were ok. The other Canadian was rude and a bullying hell monster. I suspect she was suffering from Bermuda-rage and just taking it out on the rest of us serfs! Nightmare. She was in sales as well as the main boss and getting crapped on as well.  But she would blame for the lack of quality on the work when it was the other yobbo’s fault I was just doing what he asked. But for some bizarre reason they were selling themselves on my skills and prior expertise but not letting me use them. So they got what they got!

17. Do you have any tips to help us find your replacement?
There are a lot of people in jail who deserve a second chance. Depending on how hard the jail is of course and whether or not they are getting gang raped nightly as well as other factors then Bermuda might be a slightly better option. The sentences are generally shorter.

18. What would you improve to make our workplace better?
Outsource everything except tourism off shore. Don’t employee any one from oversees to work under a Bermudian. Employ managers from abroad but by all means Bermudians should only be doing the menial jobs and smiling and waving at tourists. Under no circumstances should Bermudians be in charge of anything!!

19. Were you happy with your pay, benefits and other incentives?
I could have earned a lot more working in Europe, Canada, UK or any first world country and with twice the disposable income after tax but I chose experience. 2 weeks holiday was very refreshing after the 4-5 weeks as standard in the UK. The beach was a great incentive if only I wasn’t working so much and the winters were not much better than a UK winter. 

20. What was the quality of the supervision you received?
My employers were very skilled at making me feel inferior. Hitler would have been impressed by the way they ruled their insubordinates through oppression, degradation, humiliation, fear, exploitation, threats,  debasement, deprivation and cruelty. To not worship them as our god like superiors in every way imaginable would have been insolence.

21. Could your boss claim diminished responsibility or insanity as a defence against their management style?
Of course but why do that when they can just shift the blame? That is in our job description.

22. Did any company policies or procedures (or any other obstacles) make your job more difficult?
Obstacles were standard policy and the more the better for them. Just because I was an accredited art director [ad designer] with top agencies before shouldn’t allow me to make assumptions that those skills would carry over into Bermuda. That was made very clear. I may have come up with ideas in the real world for ads but here my job was to do the lacky work and do as I was told. They checked and micromanaged me of course. All they wanted was my CV for PR value so they could sell on the basis of that. But no matter what your credentials or the degrees you had to start over again on the bottom rung and were treated as a child. I was 32 with 10 years experience and a degree but was I treated like a trainee. 

23. Would you consider working again for this company/in Bermuda in the future?
I would rather spend the rest of my life in Thai prison being gang raped by hard bitches with the butt end of a broom handle daily in every orifice repeatedly.

24. Would you recommend working for this company to your family and friends? How about that weird cousin you don’t like much?
The weird cousin might enjoy it I think they are into extreme hard core S&M.

25. Did anyone in this company discriminate against you, harass you or cause hostile working conditions?
Those were the benefits.

26. How about random strangers?
Not too many problems with them apart from arrogance which is so Bermudian.

27. If you could travel back in time, would you still make the decision to come and work in Bermuda?
I sure would – going to Bermuda set me back. I eventually recovered but it took 3 years.

28. What advice would you give anyone considering working as an expat in Bermuda?
Don’t go.

29. Did you remember to say good morning/afternoon to every single person you encountered, every single day, even if they were strangers you happened to pass on the road when riding your moped?
Yes – a habit that I still do in my little village in England. 

30. Will you now return to the miserable third world country you came from, where you can?t get a decent job and earn a pittance (UK, Canada, USA, New Zealand, Australia)?
I’m in England now just outside London in a small quaint town. I bought a detached house with a beautiful garden within the first 5 months after arrival with proceeds from my pittance. Been there 10 years and bought a second house in France a few years ago. I have wonderful friends and enjoy shopping on King’s Road and going to the continent on weekends. My career is once again in full swing. I haven’t designed a crappy flier since leaving Bermuda. Satchi and Satchi, Mccann Erickson put that poor crappy company to shame on my CV.  I like the people I work with and have never walked in on anyone masturbating them self in the office. I am happy and am looking forward to the future. England is such a miserable, third-world spot as well.  ;-)

31. Any other comments?
I planned my escape from Bermuda with weekend end flight without telling a sole. The plan was to collect my paycheck on the Friday cash it at lunch and then disappear. The first they were supposed to know about y departure was the Monday when I failed to show. Of course the flaw was they might not pay on time. I thought I could trust the office assistant as she was getting majorly bullied as well. I wanted to get info as to whether the funds were available for our pay. I was told yes. About 3 days before she ratted me out.

I was planning a going away present of leaving frozen shrimp placed around the office behind filing cabinets and inside power outlets etc. But I had a funny feeling and noticed people were acting weird around me. On the Friday of my last day I showed up without the shrimp, and low and my suspicions were correct. I was yelled, screamed at and treated like disgusting vile dirt and told to get lost without my paycheck. They also told my landlady to pay the deposit to them and they would pay me! So I didn’t even get that. Not only did I not get a dime but I had virtually no money left because I had to pay some bills as well and was making sure they were all paid so the money would be free and clear apart from paying a few other bills including my bar bill where I hung out which I planned on doing on my last night! Their said they wanted to hold the money until after I left in case I owed money.  Since when don’t you get the benefit of paying your bills yourself? The money they owed me was far more than the couple of small bills I was forced to leave without paying and did I see a penny of what was left? Hell no! Never! They laughed when I phoned them and put the phone down.

Beware the ad agency from hell and the bald fat blob.

Tell No One!

I love Bermuda Sucks!

Gawd Adgirl, I could only read half way through that post - it sounded all too familiar... brought back too many bad memories of Bermuda that I've been trying to suppress... Like you I had to get out before my career started going backwards instead of forwards... and like you it took me a good three years to get over the experience... Depressing stuff!
S_eV^en^T

Here's where you completely lost me.  Up until this point your beef was obviously with your boss and your job - one Bermudian - fair enough.  If you honestly think that we are all incapable of doing anything but serving drinks to tourists, then I say good ****ing riddance to you.

Sorry, but to be blunt, you sound like an alcoholic to me.  Even if you can hold your "liquor pretty good".  You mention volume and decreasing the price due to bulk buying.  Well congratulations to you - what an accomplishment to be proud of!

I don't suppose you found the drinks expensive enough to cut back on?  Perhaps you could have afforded a nicer place had you not been ringing up bar tabs.

And I'm sure you had every intention of paying your bar bill on the last night.  But from the sounds of your work exit strategy, I'm not so sure I believe you.

Just my humble opinion...

Grats

I think there in irony in there that you are not getting

The rest of it sounds pretty much like the opinions of 75% of the ex-pats I know and about 25% of the Bermudians!!

Seconded

You shouldn't make assumptions about the kind of jobs my friends have.  The one you just made was so far off the mark it's laughable :-)

This thread was started by adgirl posting a lenghty gripe about her job and her boss.  You said she sounds like 75% of the expats you know.  It wasn't such a leap for me to make that assumption.