In many countries, it is customary for businesses to conduct exit interviews when employees resign or retire. Designed to give the depressed, downtrodden and desperate the chance to air their workplace grievances when it is too late to do them any good, it is also occasionally used by bosses to evaluate how successfully they have exploited their staff.

Departing workers are urged to be completely open and honest. This is a kind of sick HR joke; the reality is, if you tell the truth about your psycho manager, incompetent co-workers or excessive work hours, they?ll ensure you never work again. Until now. The Bermuda Sucks online exit interview gives you the chance to let it rip ? without fear of reprisals. Answer whatever questions apply:[/b]

1. Why did you choose to work in Bermuda?
For an opportunity to live and work in what the brochures called a tax-free, vibrant and professional work arena.

2. Was advice given about Bermuda by your recruiter/employer accurate?
About Bermuda being nice - yes, about the job No!

3. Was Bermuda your first overseas job?
Yes

4. Did the experience live up to your expectations?
NO

5. Did you live in a pink house?
No, it was yellow.

6. How long did your work permit take to be processed & how would you rate the overall service of the immigration department?
I personally had no issues with immigration; besides being placed in the holding pen for an hour while someone reviewed my credentials. My rating of the overall immigration/customs service is below acceptable for expats.

7. What is your primary reason for leaving?
The position I was hired to do did not provide any professionalism, opportunity to grow with the company, or any motivation to make a difference.

8. What would you change about your job?
Management

9. Do you feel any guilt at having caused high rents, traffic problems, teen pregnancies, expensive drinks and the downfall of Bermudian civilization?
Not an ounce!

10. Did your job duties turn out to be as you expected?
About 10% of the duties was as expected

11. Did you receive enough training to do your job effectively? Any training at all? Did they even show you where the bathrooms are located?
In 3 years I received no training that was promised, but I did demonstrate to my boss(es) that we are all not sheep!

12. Speaking of bathrooms, did they have doors or were you expected to answer the call of nature while various tradespeople walked by and waved?
We had doors with signs that read ?Please treat this bathroom as you would your home, and flush the toilet!"

13. Did you receive adequate support and equipment to do your job?
If you consider being thrown into a fire without any clothes and using a pencil like McGuiver to repair a 12 year old computer, then yes!

14. Were you satisfied with this company's merit review process?
Hahaha - you gotta be kidding.? Merit?that?s something that most Bermudian companies have no idea of how to spell it, let alone promote!

15. Do you still have road rash scars?
No.? Most of my buddies do, but I did have some close shaves!

16. Did this company help you to fulfill your career goals? If yes, were your career goals to be treated as an unwelcome intrusion and expected to make good the incompetence of lazy coworkers?
HAHA ? help me with MY Career Goals ? not a chance.? I did learn a lot from my job about bull****, lazy people, cutthroats, backstabbers, and supervisors who have no idea the sky is blue!

17. Do you have any tips to help us find your replacement?
Yes, I do:
1)   If they say your job will be a challenge, believe them.
2)   If they say rent is $500/month ? LAUGH your Ass off!
3)   Be careful of rice and weevil bugs.
4)   If your boss says, he/she is tired of taking it up the ass, then buy them some Vaseline.

18. What would you improve to make our workplace better?
More respect for the people who actually know what they are doing, and a crackdown on people who can not do their jobs.

19. Were you happy with your pay, benefits and other incentives?
I felt I deserved more compensation for my duties and responsibilities as most duties were not listed on job description I was hired for. It said nothing about working under a supervisor who only had a grade 2 education.

20. What was the quality of the supervision you received?
A complete Joke. One person had a great title for a supervisor -? eventually!

21. Could your boss claim diminished responsibility or insanity as a defence against their management style?
Insanity is a good one that applies but I believe management style is learned from those cards from a cracker jack box.

22. Did any company policies or procedures (or any other obstacles) make your job more difficult?
Absolutely, everything that was not in the 1 page employee handbook!

23. Would you consider working again for this company/in Bermuda in the future?
Maybe, if I was allowed to do my job and fire some others!

24. Would you recommend working for this company to your family and friends? How about that weird cousin you don?t like much?
Yes, if they wanted a wild and wacky experience they will never forget!

25. Did anyone in this company discriminate against you, harass you or cause hostile working conditions?
Everyday!

26. How about random strangers?
Not really.

27. If you could travel back in time, would you still make the decision to come and work in Bermuda?
Yes, I would because now I am educated on the place and the work environment.? I would have a blast now!

28. What advice would you give anyone considering working as an expat in Bermuda?
Don?t bend over too far, drink lots of rum before going to bed, listen to the tree frogs and speak your mind at work!

29. Did you remember to say good morning/afternoon to every single person you encountered, every single day, even if they were strangers you happened to pass on the road when riding your moped?
Um Um yeah, of course bye!

30. Will you now return to the miserable third world country you came from, where you can?t get a decent job and earn a pittance (UK, Canada, USA, New Zealand, Australia)?
I am already back here paying taxes?it?s a great life. For these taxes, I get a life now!

31. Any other comments?
Thanks for this opportunity to write my comments.